All the tears we shed
by Ramenzero
Summary: Chase struggles with his emotions after the rebellion. (contains cursing) (three-shot)
1. Chapter 1

Chase wandered around the academy, thinking about everything that's happened recently. He let Sebastian know the truth, he gave him powers that, in the end, were used to try to kill him. He went past the kitchen, remembering all the times that ate together when his siblings were being assholes.

He hurried through, past their table.

They were friends, he finally had a friend. His siblings still made fun of him, but it shifted from 'you have no friends' to 'your only friend is your student, big improvement' He decided that it was a bit better, but I didn't take away from everything else they said to him. He thought it was bad before, but after the rebellion, after Sebastion, it got _so much worse_.

'Why did you think he ever wanted to be your friend'

'For the smartest person in the world, you're pretty stupid'

'Were you really that desperate for a friend?' Yes, he was. He always felt so alone, he lived and worked with his family who hated him, he lived with and taught a bunch of students, who hated him. He only had one friend back on the mainland, but a lot of stuff happened that pushed them apart. He pushed that out of his mind real quick.

He walked through hallways in the dark, his night vision aided him, but it didn't matter. He didn't care where he went. he walked into the training room, they sparred in here more times then he could count. They would have their staffs out, fighting with everything they had, trying to prove who the better fighter was. They always had to be stopped so other people could train. Chase eventually decided that sparring was useless, neither of them ever won.

But he never said that to Sebastion.

It was where they first started hanging out, where they went from student and mentor to friends. Best friends.

He stood in the training area for a while, looking around, letting all the memories wash over him. Them training, them making jokes, them bonding, them becoming friends. Chase making a stupid move, Sebastion attacking him with the intent to kill. He wanted to leave, but his feet were glued to the floor. He stared until he fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face.

"Why am I so _fucking stupid!_" He yelled out. He pressed his palms into his eyes, trying to slow down the tears. He let his head drop down to his knees while he cried. "Why can't I just be fucking normal, why am I so desperate for a friend, why does _anyone put up with me!_" He yelled, knowing that everyone was in their capsules, no one would here him. He would never let them. "_Why!_"

…

**This is my first story and I'm pretty excited about it. There are only gonna be a few parts, I'll try to get them out soon. I know this was short, they'll probably be. I like this so far so I have a lot more motivation to write than normal.**

**I was listening to a lot of good songs while writing this, so have a song recommendation: It's Alright - Mother Mother**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! I finished this as soon as I could, I hope I get the last part out soon.

I got asked by a guest to slow down with the cursing, I guess I'm just desensitized to it lol. I censored this The Good Place style, I hope this is better! - Eve

Chase walked out of his capsule the next morning after his crying section in the training area. He sobbed in there for a while before pulling himself together and going back to bed. That night he dreamed of Sebastion. He walked through the halls to the kitchen, passing students and, unluckily, Douglas.

"Chase?" Normally Chase would be happy to talk to Douglas, they had a lot in common and Douglas was more like a father to Chase than Donald was, despite Donald raising him. Douglas always understood him and was there for him when Chase needed him, but right now Chase just wanted to be left alone, and he didn't trust Douglas's tone. He sounded worried.

"Yes?" He spun around on his heal and faced him, ready to lie or fake his emotions or anything else to keep Douglas off his back.

"One of the students heard you crying in the training area last night when she got up to get a glass of water. Are you alright?" Douglas asked, taking a step towards Chase.

'_damn' _Chase thought

"I'm great, I slept like a log last night so I don't know what that student was talking about, maybe they were dreaming or something." He said. He turned back around, trying to get out of the room before Douglas could say anything else.

Sadly, he was too slow.

"Yeah, I thought that maybe it was a dream, it didn't sound like you, so I checked the security footage," Douglas said. Chase froze in his spot right next to the door. He stared at the doorknob, considering whether or not to run or talk to Douglas about what happened. He knew running would do him no good, but _damn_ was it tempting.

"Chase? I know you aren't okay, I'm worried about you." Douglas spoke softly, comfortingly. Chase weighted his options for a few more seconds before turning around and facing his father.

"I know that doesn't make it sound like I'm okay, but I promise I am," Chase said, staring Douglas right in the eye. He needed him to believe him.

"Chase-"

"Please," Chase muttered, "I just," He took a deep breath before continuing, was he really about to say this. "I just need a little more time, I'll talk to you when I'm ready, I promise," He said. He stared at Douglas, hoping he wouldn't press, he didn't want to deal with that. Douglas watched him for a moment before nodding and walking away.

Chase let out a relieved sigh, that was too close for comfort. If he had continued, Chase didn't know what he would have done. He started towards the kitchen again, hoping for a distraction, food usually was good enough. He walked in and already regretted it. He walked through the door, expecting harsh words from his students, a few glares here and there. He was not expecting a bucket of ice-cold water falling on him.

The students burst into laughter, Spin, who was standing on a latter holding the bucket, was laughing particularly loudly. Chase stood there for a moment, trying to recover from the shock, before storming out of the kitchen.

"ashholes" He muttered under his breath. He dried himself, then headed to his capsule to grab some clothes and a bag. He obviously wasn't wanted here, everyone clearly needed some time to cool off. While he was stuffing clothes in his bag, Bree, Adam, and Leo walked in, still laughing to themselves.

"Hey, Chase!" Adam called out, struggling to hold back his laughter, "What's with the bag? Was there a mission alert?" Leo said, a little more seriously.

"No, I'm gonna be staying with Tasha on the mainland for a little while," Chase said, stuffing his last shirt into his bag. He didn't know how long he was going to stay, he didn't even know if Tasha would even let him stay. '_No, she'll let me stay. If she doesn't I'll just stay at a hotel or something.'_ Chase thought, trying to keep his confidence up.

"Seriously? It was just a prank, why do you have to be such a hardash?" Bree asked, walking over. He zipped up his bag, grabbed his phone, and turned and walked past the 3 of them.

"Chase." Leo started, "Bree's right, it was just one little prank. You kinda deserve it you know.." He said the last part quietly, but of course, Chase heard it with his super hearing.

"Yeah, today its a bucket of ice-cold water, tomorrow you saw my chair in half, the day after you paint my mission suit pink. I'm not interested in seeing what else you all come up with." Chase threw back at them. He was tired and done with their bullshirt.

"How did he find out about the mission suit one?" Adam whispered to the others. Chase ignored him and continued to the hydroloop.

"You can't be serious," Bree said. Chase ignored her too. When he made it to the main room, he saw Mr. Davenport at the desk, working on something. Chase walked to the hydroloop as fast as he could, but Bree beat him to it.

"Mr. Davenport," Bree starts.

"Bree," Chase growled, trying to stop her before she said something unbelievably stupid.

"Did Chase tell you that he's gonna be staying at the mainland with Tasha?" Bree said before looking at Chase out of the corner of her eye with a smile.

"What? Chase, you can't go to the mainland. I know getting pranked sucks and all," _OF course he knows _"but you can't just leave whenever someone does something mean. You're a grown-up."

"So are they! But they act like forking children and when I decide that I need a little break, you tell _me _to be a grown up! _Fork off!_" Chase yelled, taking some of his anger out on them, before shoving Bree out of the way and getting on the hydroloop.

"I'll be back when I start to act like an adult," Chase said, his back still to them. As the doors to the hydroloop closed, he started to feel a little worried.

The only noise was the sound of the doors, they were silent.

As Chase sat down, he thought about everything he had said and done. He shouldn't have yelled at them, Leo was right, he did deserve it. He held his head in his hands. _I messed up, 'I shouldn't be yelling at them when they are trying to teach me a lesson.' _He thought. He usually tried to stay positive, if his ego was big, if he said nothing but good things about himself, maybe he would turn out to actually be an awesome person. '_I'm a fork-up, I should be able to take, I should just take it. I shouldn't stay with Tasha.' _He knew that she would shower him with love and try to make him feel better. He didn't deserve that, not from her, not from his family.

And certainly not from Sebastion.

He was thrown back into the world of last night, Sebastion was suddenly the only thing on his mind, and it hurt. He wiped at his eyes as the doors to the hydroloop opened, he couldn't let anyone see. He stepped off, still thinking about Sebation, and he hurried away, he didn't care where he ended up.

He was walking through town trying to focus his attention on anything but Seb, an old couple walking through a park, kids hitting rocks with baseball bats, a bird in a tree. IT was difficult, but he made it to the nearest hotel without thinking about Sebastian. Well, maybe he thought about him a _few _times, but it didn't matter. He paid for a room and made his way to it. He passed by many rooms, wondering who the people in them were, what they did, what they were doing at that moment. It kept his brain occupied during the short trip to his room.

He walked in and looked around. A standard room, nothing special. He laid down on the bed, thinking of Seb again.

_**Chase and Seb just finished sparring in the training room. They sat on the sidelines with water bottles and red faces. Seb was telling Chase about the prank he pulled on one of the other students while Chase and his siblings were out on a mission. Chase was laughing his head off, normally he would be against pranks, but since it was Sebastion, he didn't seem to mind. He enjoyed Sebastions company more than anyone he has ever met. He loved spending time with.**_

Chase stared at the opposite wall. He knew why he felt so upset, it wasn't just because of what Sebastion did, or what Chase did himself. It was because it had all re-opened old wounds, every bad thing he thought about himself came flooding back at full force when Sebastion betrayed them. Sebastion used to help him with these thoughts. He helped him will everything, he made every bad thing go away.

He….. Was always there for Chase, and Chase was always there for him, in a heartbeat.

…

'_I love him'_

'_I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him' _Chase's eyes filled with tears as he stared at the floral pattern decorating every wall.

'_Damnit'_

He wiped away the tears that were forming. If he started crying he wouldn't be able to stop. He kept thinking about it, it was obvious, he felt like this for a long time. He just pushed it out of his mind, he didn't want to think about it. He was his mentor, he shouldn't love him. He gave up on wiping away his tears, there wasn't anything that could stop them now.


	3. Chapter 3

He spent a lot of time crying in the hotel, looking back on his time Sebastion. He spent a lot of time wondering if it was obvious to everyone else, it would suck if his siblings knew (especially since they've been treating him so terribly lately) but I would be even worse if Sebastion knew.

He tried not to linger on that thought for too long. When he was all cried out, he started scrolling through his phone. He had a lot of texts from, well, everyone. Even Tasha.

'_Where are you?'_

'_Answer your phone Chase.'_

_Answer your damn phone'_

'_Please come back, or at least call. We're all worried about you.'_

He skimmed the messages, getting a lot of the same thing, till he came across something that made his blood boil. The most recent text,

'_We're really sorry :'('_

He reread the message over and over again, trying to figure out how Leo could have sent such a stupid message. He opened the messenger app and sent one text.

'_For today or for my whole life?'_ He knew he shouldn't have sent that. They might hate him, they had to after everything they've done, but he didn't hate them. He set his phone down on his back that sat a foot from the bed before letting himself drift off to sleep.

**Chase sat on the couch at a random house. Everything was in black in white like an old, old show. He was watching some cartoon, wearing a slightly fancy suit with no tie. He stared at the screen mindlessly enjoying himself in that dreamy way when Sebastion walked in.**

"**How was work, honey?" Chase asked.**

"**It was great! I love my job." Sebastion said with a slight smile. He went over to the fridge and pulled out a turkey with some mashed potatoes, fully cooked. It looked like they had just got done cooking as steam was still coming from them.**

"**Dinner looks great tonight honey! Much better than last night!" Chase said with a laugh. Sebastion placed his hands on his hips and shook his head at him with a smile.**

"**Wash up and help set the table, and you can clean up afterward if you keep those comments up!" Sebastion said as he started washing his hands in the sink. Chase laughed again and went over to wash his hands as well, leaving the weirdly thin and tall TV on. When Chase got to him they kissed and Chase began washing his hands too.**

"**Why are there so many place settings out?" Chase said, looking over at the counter where they seemed to have just appeared out of thin air.**

"**We have guests of course! Breanna, Adam, and Leo are coming! We set this up weeks ago sweetie, you're so forgetful." Sebastion dried his hands and grabbed 2 place settings as Chase tried to remember talking about this with Seb.**

"**But what about the fight? Didn't you cancel!? I told you how-how upset - I - was?" Chase stopped drying his hands and tried to think back, when did he tell him about the fight? Of course, he did, they were married, they shared everything with each other. Sebastion let out a huff and turned around.**

"**You had a fight?" His hands were on his hips again. "Why, you never told me that," Seb said. He turned back around grabbing four of the place settings that Chase didn't remember him setting up, mumbling about canceling right before they showed up.**

**Right as he said that, a knock on the door sounded. Chase stared at the door, hoping they would just think they weren't home and leave.**

"**Why are you just standing there? Get the door you goofball." Sebastion said, a laugh barely hidden in his voice. Chase didn't move, he **_**just **_**told him about the fight, what was happening. He shook his head and walked towards the door and opened it. There was no one there.**

"**Close the door, you're letting all the cold air in honey, we aren't warming the outdoors," Sebastion said, grinning. Chase stared at the street then closed the door, trying not to slam it. He glanced at the TV as he walked past, and stopped in his tracks. On the TV, a news report was playing. There was some sort of explosion in a government facility. He sat down on the couch again, quickly forgetting about the wonderful smells of the turkey, mashed potatoes, and corn wafting through the air. He watched as the names of people that were injured flew past the screen.**

**Chase Davenport-Krane**

**Sebastion Davenport-Krane**

**Why did he take Sebastion lasts name? They both always said it was silly. Sebastion changed his name from Krane to Miller as soon as he could, why would he change it back?**

"**Babe, dinners done!" Sebastion called.**

"**Coming!" Chase called back.**

'_**Why were we on the news report?' **_**Chase thought. He tried to remember what the news was about but he couldn't quite make it out in his mind. He shrugged it off and sat down at the table. Seb sat down across from him and grabbed his hand as he dug in. Chase smiled, **_**finally, **_**they could be together.**

"**When did you make the corn?" Chase asked.**

"**Who cares, it's delicious!" Seb said with a grin. Chase watched him, not even touching his food. He loved him, and he got to show it.**

**Why wouldn't he?**

…

**They aren't together**

**In a moment Chase new. He's had lucid dreams before, but this was the best one he's had yet. A part of him wanted to wake up, it hurt to be here, knowing what Sebastion did, what he said to Chase. But the rest of him was in love, and he wanted to enjoy this time he had with him. So he stayed, sat in his chair eating food that was too good to be true.**

"**Seb,,, I love you, you know that don't you?" Chase asked.**

"**Of course!" Sebastion replied. He grabbed our finished plates of food and took to the sink. Chase followed closely behind him.**

"**I just, I love you and I never got the chance to tell you. I'm sorry about that and," Chase thought about it for a moment, "I'm sorry I told you about Krane, I'm sorry for giving new abilities, I'm so sorry for making you hate me. I just, I don't I just -" Sebastion pulled him into his arms, holding him close.**

"**Don't cry." Chase hadn't even realized he was crying. Sebastion wiped away his tears, they loved each other. They finally loved each other.**

Chase woke with a jolt, he wanted to go back. He _had _to go back. He tried to go back to sleep, but he couldn't. He laid in bed till he heard a knock on the door. He didn't want to answer, he was guessing it was his family, and he really didn't want to see them right now. He grabbed his phone and saw a text from Leo. He instantly remembered what he had sent him earlier and started to regret it.

'_For everything. We love you, Chase, we want to know if you're okay. Pls call back.'_

Chase stared at the text as another knock on the door sounded. He wanted to be okay, but he wasn't after everything.

He loved Sebastion and the person was still knocking on the door and he hurt his family andohgodhefudgedupsobadhehurteveryoneandhe'sinlovewith_fuckingSebastion_andhewasmakingverythingworseandtheknockingwassoloudohgodohgodohogod_ohgodogod_

The door was pulled off its frame and there stood Adam Bree and Leo, looking angry and worried. Everything finally clashed together in Chase's head, a small and large storms meeting to make one violent whirlwind of emotion and pain. And in a moment, he burst into tears, right in front of them.

They wrapped him up in a hug and asked him a few questions. When their questions were answered with sobs and hiccups they got the hint and just held him in silence. When he finally cried himself out for the night, he began to explain. Everything. I spoke quietly about Sebastion and yelled when he told them about how he really felt about their continuous bullying. They listened with watery eyes, taking it all in. Once he was done they sat there for a while, thinking of what to say next, how to apologize.

"Chase, I'm really sorry," Adam started. "You're my brother, and I treated you so terribly. I love you, you know that right?" Adam asked. Chase smiled slightly and nodded against his chest, not really feeling like speaking yet.

"Yeah, I guess the teasing got out of hand, we should have realized. I'm sorry, I love you." Bree pulled him close.

"They took the words right out of my mouth," Leo said, pulling all of them closer together.

"Oh, and we support you, Chase, we always will," Bree said. "We can talk about cute boys together." She said with a smile. Chase let out a laugh, they would finally have something to bond over.

"Thank you," Chase whispered, finally feeling happy to be spending time with his family.

He would love Sebastion for a long time, he knew that. Everything he felt about him was so, real, he didn't want to lose that. But there were other people out there to fall in love with. And he was finally able to tell his siblings (And Mr. Deavenport, Douglas, the student, and Tasha later of course) It wasn't how he wanted to do that, but at least it was out there. He would get a chance to be happy. But it would take a while.

Every night, he would go to bed and dream of Sebastion. They were pleasant for the most part, but every dream would get closer and closer to reality. He knew he wasn't handling it well, but that was something he wasn't ready to tell his family. He would try to enjoy what little time he had with the love of his life, even when his dreams turned to Sebastion attacking him and his family, declaring the truth of his rebellion.

He would suffer through it if it meant seeing Sebastion again.

God my shoulder hurts for no reason. Anyway, this chapter was really fun to write for a lot of reasons. That dream sequence mostly. Sorry if that ending was disappointing, I kinda realized while writing it (which was moments ago) that it was sorta inspired by MANIAC, in some aspects at least. Mostly the part where the girl takes the pill again and again just to see her sister again, even though the memory she always sees is her sister dying. She just wants to see her sister again. Sorry for the spoiler I just love Maniac.

Anyway, that's all folks, this is the last part. I enjoyed writing all of this and I hope yall enjoyed reading. I'm gonna go to sleep since its 12PM, night - Eve


End file.
